I honestly feel like my life doesn’t have any purpose. I try my best at anything I do but everything I do is never enough. I constantly get told that I’m stupid, not worth anything, I’m a disappointment, I’m not going anywhere in life, I should just kill myself, no one will love me. It’s hard to hear that from your family who is supposed to support you and love you no matter what. I’d rather die than hear that almost every single day. I try my best to brush it off & I think I’ve done well, but sometimes it’s just hard to hold all that in. I try to be happy but sometimes it’s just really hard. It’s just really hard to find strength and motivation to continue right now. It just sucks.
lol the other day i was making out with this dude and he literally kept on biting my lip. like not even the hot kinda lip biting but he was seriously biting like he wanted to bite it off. hahaha i was really like “ugh dude stop biting my lip it hella hurts lmao” and then i looked in the mirror and it was hella red. hahahahaha i was honestly just laughing the whole time while making out with this dude but i really wanted to cry because my lip hurt hella bad.
lol i guess my life story was too much to handle for the bae, now ex-bae, hahaha. but things happen for a reason and hopefully someone better comes along lol.
it just seems like everything is slowly falling apart for me. not having any support from the people who are supposed to support you, having them tell you over and over again that you haven’t accomplished anything in life and that you probably won’t ever. having a constant reminder that i was “asking” for it every single time i was sexually abused by someone who was supposed to be family and finally being comfortable enough with the bf to tell him about it because he asked but getting hit with the “i need some space” right after. not knowing if what i think i wanna do with my life is actually what i really wanna do. being alone everyday with my thoughts that’ll probably make me go crazy and think things i know i shouldn’t be thinking about. not really having anyone to talk to. idk, i kinda just don’t know what to do, what to say, what to think. idk. i honestly just don’t know.
we gave up on us too easily. but to think that you want to try having a relationship with me again in the future is idk, good and bad i guess. whatever happens, happens.
